I missed April due to my hard drive crashing and consequently having to rebuild my computer.  Fortunately I recovered most of my data.  Even though during April it was my computer that was behaving badly, I noticed many clients becoming aware of the bad behaviour of their partners.  It was a time when many started having a cold hard look at the types of relationships they were engaged  in.   For us to be abused by a partner, a parent, a sibling or an authority figure we usually have the mental, emotional and spiritual patterns within us that facilitate this situation.  This does not mean that it is therefore entirely your fault.  It takes two to tango!

Those who are abused often blame themselves – if only I could please them more, or do it better.  Sadly, those who are abused often do not know how to stand up for themselves or even consider that their experience is unhealthy.  The reason I am doing a re-hash of April is because May can be a time for not only licking your wounds but also a time of great healing.  It is one thing to know that you have been abused it is another thing entirely to take responsibility for healing.  It is another thing again to take the steps to heal and change yourself to be free.  If you do not, you will remain a victim.

The numbers for May 2013 are 5 + 20 + 13 = 11/2

I am not going to go into the Aura-Soma bottles 20 or 13, if you want to recap their influence check out my previous blog The Soul Essence of 2013. Instead let’s take an in depth look at the energy of bottle 5, yellow over red.  When I take in a new client that has a 5 in their birth numbers I carefully explain to them that it is highly likely that in their early years or in their past lives they have been abused quite significantly.  This abuse causes these individual to become hyper-vigilant, always looking for the next possible threat, it is very hard for them to relax completely.  These individuals also tend to be very sensitive, because they are constantly vigilant to the slightest changes in their environment that may indicate a threat. 

The challenge of a five and therefore of May is to heal your wounds once you have recognise that you have indeed been abused.  Healing of your wounds cannot be done by taking drugs or just intellectually working through the issues.  Deep healing must take place emotionally, spiritually and physically.  This is particularly challenging for fives as they are like skittish rabbits, always wanting to run away.  Once your wounds are healed you can enter a state of relaxation and perhaps even step into a place of emotional bliss.  This is the promise of Bottle 5 to resolve the red anger in the bottom fraction and the yellow fear of the top fraction.  When you shake this bottle you obtain orange, the colour of emotional strength and protection.

Bottle 11, clear over pale pink.  This looks such a beautiful bottle and it is.  It can be an expression of love and clarity.  The shadow side of this bottle is enormous sensitivity, even more than bottle 5.  This bottle does not necessarily speak of abuse but an experience that was so overwhelming that the soul completely shut down so that they could no longer feel.  Of course this was a survival mechanism and obviously overwhelm can come from many sources not just abuse.  The fear of an eleven is that they may never have the courage to feel again.  But feel they must if they are to become whole once more.  It is our emotions and our feelings that give us pleasure and allow us to engage in life with wonder and enthusiasm.  When we become devoid of feeling life seems to have no appeal no colour.  We can become digital, much like a computer.

Bottle 2, the product of bottle 11.  I have discussed bottle 2 at length in previous months, notable February.  However, I just want to add that in context with May, this is our opportunity to heal our wounds in particular from those who have been in positions of authority for us.  Of course the first experience of authority if with our parents.  Bottle 2 encourages you to look at your early childhood experiences.  Most parents do their best given the resources they have available, however many children grow up feeling that they were short changed.  Unfortunately many children are abused and go onto create relationships that matched their early years.

What I want you to understand is that whether your past defines you or becomes the grist for personal development is entirely up to you.  Take the time this month to heal, allow yourself to become stronger.  It is up to you whether life keeps throwing salt into your wounds.  However, becoming insensitive and unfeeling does not constitute healing.  Healing allows you to open and blossom and use all of your resources to their best advantage not only for yourself but also for others.

If you feel that it is time to let go of the past and become all that you can be, please give me a call and I will help you and show you how.  It is always much easier to heal when you are in the presence of another who can support you throughout your journey.