I guess you are all thinking What The? How can I say that about love, love is meant to be a nice warm, fuzzy thing. So let me explain.
Make no mistake love is the most magical and powerful energy on the planet. Love is something that we all crave, but at the same time many of us are terrified of love. Many of us don’t trust love that much either. You see love also appears to have a shadow side. We have all been subjected to imperfect love, when our loved ones have betrayed us, lied to us and left us feeling like a fool to have believed in love. Most of us at some time have experienced the downer of no love!
Be Gentle, Nurture Yourself
We all come in with the capacity for unconditional love, the kind of love that accepts our parents no matter what. In fact love is the very first addiction we experience. We seek out the gentle touch, the soothing words and the gentle caress. It seems that we have an insatiable desire for love when we are young. It is very likely that we would die if we did not receive it at all. We do everything possible to get our fix from the adults around us. For some of us our first love affair last a lifetime. Eventually the addictive quality of the behaviour – “I have to get love from my parents” tends to wain and become a mature love wherein love gains the capacity to become a process of exchange. Loves powerful addictive nature begins to fade. It’s not that we no longer want it, but we relax into it knowing it will always be there. The highs and low mostly mellow into a continuous wave.
Mature love understands that love comes from within and it can never be taken from us. Once we deeply realise that love is within and doesn’t need to be topped up we can become free of the addictive nature of first love. We come to understand that the exquisite feeling of love is within us all the time we just need to tune in. Most of us have experienced the giddy and legless feeling of falling in love one or more times after our first love – our parents. But just like the first time addiction eventually gives way to mature love. If we don’t understand this we will continually seek out the heady first love experience and feel that love has gone when it disappears.
Unfortunately for many of us the shadow of conditional love creeps over us and we find it harder and harder to get our love hit. In actual fact we can unconsciously believe and act in many ways that negate the feel good “‘cos I am loved feeling” simply because we don’t trust the words of love. Many times I have heard these sad words from my clients: “They are only saying that they love me or that I am beautiful they want something from me” or because “love makes them blind to see who I really am or what I really look like”. Or another good one is; “they only say good things about me because they are my father, mother, spouse etc and that is what they are meant to do”.
So what am I saying here? It is very likely that many of us have standing near us the most awesome love. Yet we don’t trust the words of love or we prefer to believe that love is blind, self-motivated and clearly love cannot see the real truth of us. When I confront my clients with “so you are saying that your loved one is a liar and most certainly blind?” The response I get is complete surprise. Their minds do a double take. The real issue is not that they are lying or blind because they love us. It is because all of us at some time have felt hurt by love. Our own illusion of the loved one being perfect has come crashing down and we never repaired the damage. It’s a similar to the process we experience with an addictive substance, the very first time can never be reproduced and the comedown is a real nightmare.
Let me be the first to say that there are certainly people who are good a lying and telling us what we want to hear because they want to use and abuse us. Our desire for love and acceptance can cause us to look for love in the wrong place. Sadly many have traded their addiction for love for substances of addiction. Unfortunately these substances and behaviours also bring them pain and despair just as people have. Erroneously we believe that we have more control over these substitute substances and things than we do over people.
So what are we to do? Well, what if love never came from outside and our capacity to feel love first came from within us? Consider that the kind and type and depth of love we experience on the outside world has more to do with us than them? So the questions becomes how much do I actually love myself? How do I express my love? Do I abandon myself? Lie to myself? How much love do I allow myself to feel and how much do I allow myself to respond to love?
Most of us live in the illusionary world that everything is outside of us and that everything outside of us is responsible for making us feel or not. When we take a pain killer, we expect it to work to have power over us and consequently dull the pain. Have you ever taken a pain killing drug that didn’t work? I have! So then you have to dig deep inside and find that place of no pain. Love is the same there is no magical drug, person, thing or behaviour that is going to make you feel loved.
It is all up to you!
Fortunately if you have forgotten your first love, even before your parents I would love to help you find YOU again.
Even though I have discussed Bottle 20 before as it is the backdrop of our current century , let’s do a recap for the New Year. The Aura-Soma bottle 20 is Blue over Pink, this bottle is called the Star Child/Child Rescue. Its primary impetus is the communication of unconditional love, which of course can only be extended out to others when we have first reached that state within ourselves. Bottle 20 helps us find the child within, and heal that child. Our child self is very important as it is the foundation of our current life ego and our ego is the child of our spiritual self. There is so much emphasis in our society on mental health but it would be better called emotional health as it is our emotions that rule us when we are out of balance. Emotional maturity is not reached by suppression of our emotions but mastery of them and in so doing becoming independent of the opinions and approvals of others. With emotional maturity comes awareness and responsibility. There are many different levels of mental intellect which means we often cannot relate to someone intellectually, however through our emotion and feelings we have equal capacity to relate with everyone.
20 can be broken down to 2, which is Bottle 2 blue over blue – peace on every level. The only way I know to create peace on planet earth is for each and every one of us to find peace within ourselves. We all need to find the love an acceptance that comes from within. Unfortunately we are taught from the time we leave the womb that we must seek love outside of ourselves. When we cannot find a satisfactory source many turn to drugs, prescribed or “recreational”, alcohol or the endless pursuit of things and people to make us happy. For our hopes and dreams of a new world of peace to manifest we must manifest peace from within first. We need to stop acting like emotional children waiting for the parent or another authority to make it alright for us.
The final influence hidden within Bottle 20 is Bottle 16 violet over violet. Violet is obtained when you shake Bottle 20 and the pink and blue mix together producing violet. Violet has always been associated with positions of power and authority traditionally because the colour was expensive to produce. Bottle 16 is called the violet robe because it can hide a multitude of “sins”, alluding to the fact that those in power and authority are not necessarily always those who act from a balanced position. A position of authority can become a vehicle of self service rather than service to the greater community as well as oneself. In order for each individual to awaken to their own authority they must find their true self, which is beyond the emotional wounding they carry. The energy information to completely review who you are and what is right for you are contained in violet over violet. Violet is also the balance between heaven and earth and all should be very mindful of giving up worldly authority to only take on another authority in the form of spiritual guides etc. In the end you must be your own authority, everything and everyone else is just information upon which to base your own choices. With personal choice comes responsibility and accountability. 16 adds to 7 which is the sum total of 2014 so I will discuss bottle 7 further on.
The frequency of bottle 20, 2, 16/7 are the obvious everyday usage backbone of the 21st century. So the frequency of 21 is kind of hidden. So let’s have a look at the hidden energy of bottle 21 also. Bottle 21 is green over pink and the bottle contains the energy needed to create a new space and a new direction coming from a place of love. The challenges of bottle 21 are being resistant to change and being caught up in one’s own pride a vanity. As a whole our society is enamoured with our technological advances and our collective pride in our ‘man-made’ structures and we are often unwilling to see the cost of these advances. Very little of our human action and communication comes from a place of true love of Self let along another. Coming from a place of love does not exclude anyone or anything whether it is natural or man-made.
Bottle 21 adds to 3. Bottle 3 is blue over green. In bottle 21 the green is in the top fraction. Any colour in the top fraction is more focused on the conscious self or the ego. The same colour in the lower fraction has the same essence except it is aimed at the unconscious self. These two bottles combined together are calling us to create a space of love and new beginnings not only in our outer reality but also in our inner reality. Bottle 3 is called the Atlantean heart bottle. This bottle sums up the spiritual tasks of our current age. Clean up our wounds from our mythical past – Atlantis. Atlantis was a place of great intellectual advances but emotional immaturity caused us to lose connection with our environment and each other. We must understand that it is not enough to connect intellectually and technologically we must also connect emotionally. It is through our emotional connection that we truly understand the effect we have on others and our environment.
Okay so let’s look at the new energy that 14 brings into the mix. Bottle 14 is clear over gold and contains the energies required to find wisdom in a New Age. For me this means there needs to be an evolvement of the Egoic Self, the part of us that says I am this and that and that I know who I am. In order for us to move into a New Age it will be necessary for us to let go of the concepts that we have of ourselves in the current age. Once again it is our scars and wounds that cause us to identify with certain life circumstances and particular truths about ourselves and the world that we live in.
Bottle 14 adds to 5, Bottle 5 is yellow over red and it is called the Sunset and Sunrise bottle. Bottle 5 is a very complex bottle on which I could write pages as 5 is one of my major life influences. In a nutshell bottle 5 concerns sorting out your emotional wounds, letting the sun go down on them and the sun can come up on a new day with greater clarity and wisdom. The other challenge of bottle 5 is to use your energies wisely. In other words, just because you can, doesn’t mean that you necessarily should. Bottle 5 gives you the energy to overcome difficult past situations and move on, to synthesize new wisdom that has been born out of the half truths and pain of the past. The energies of bottle 5 help you develop emotional “muscle” and maturity.
When you add up 2014 you get Bottle 7 yellow over green. This bottle is called the Garden of Gethsemene and its primary essence is the test of faith. Can you let go and trust the process of life? Bottle 7 asks you – can you make wise decisions about your life? Can you find your purposeful direction? and mostly do you have faith in yourself? In order to make appropriate decision we must learn from the decisions that we have already made. If we do not, we will keep making the same mistakes over and over. To learn from our mistakes and make different decision requires that we change the source energies that caused us to make the original decisions.
Bottle 4 yellow over gold is called the Sun Bottle. Bottle 4 played a role last month also as it will every month this year because of the 13/4 in 2013. What is significant this month is that 13/4 is a double influence this month, once from the year and once for the total. Like bottle 7 it has yellow in the top fraction so you will be called to face your fears and allow them to be transformed into joy. So look to your deepest fears, check out what is really going on, learn from the experience and turn the experience into the gold of wisdom.
June of course is Aura-Soma bottle 6, red over red. Red is the colour of physical vitality, the capacity to get up and go. It is red that gives us the energy to bring about change, take action. However, in Aura-Soma red is a combination of yellow and orange. Orange helps us to bring ourselves together emotionally, follow our passion and experience emotional satisfaction from our physical efforts. Yellow is the colour of joy, the Ah Ha of life’s spiritual awareness. The opposite traits are inaction, feeling stuck, unable to move, riveted to the spot by fear and certainly no passion or love for what it is that you do. Unfortunately the shorter and darker days and colder weather tend to bring out the negatives of red. Ever since May’s full moon feeling stuck, unable to move is what I have noticed from many clients, even before we moved into the calendar month of June.
Bottle 3 blue over green. For those of you who have read my previous blogs you will know that one the challenge of bottle 3 is emotional maturity and the other challenge is finding your own space or being the master of your own space. It is a sad but true fact that most individuals no matter their chronological age, their emotional age is around two. In order to step out and bring about change in ourselves or in our lives we often need to stand alone, others do not always support our decisions. We need to understand that we are no longer the small child dependent upon nurturance from our parents. We have to have the courage of our convictions and fly the nest emotionally. Whether you use the energy of red to propel you forward or remain stuck in inaction is up to you.
The other major influence in June is bottle 4 yellow over red. In this bottle the yellow contained within the red is no longer hidden it is obvious for all to see. When we face our hidden fears, the sun can finally return – Fear is transformed into joy. The red in the bottom fraction of this bottle is the impulse and resources that we need to change our physical world to one that is pleasing to us. When we are truly happy, then those around us also bask in our glory.
Bottle 11, clear over pale pink. This looks such a beautiful bottle and it is. It can be an expression of love and clarity. The shadow side of this bottle is enormous sensitivity, even more than bottle 5. This bottle does not necessarily speak of abuse but an experience that was so overwhelming that the soul completely shut down so that they could no longer feel. Of course this was a survival mechanism and obviously overwhelm can come from many sources not just abuse. The fear of an eleven is that they may never have the courage to feel again. But feel they must if they are to become whole once more. It is our emotions and our feelings that give us pleasure and allow us to engage in life with wonder and enthusiasm. When we become devoid of feeling life seems to have no appeal no colour. We can become digital, much like a computer.
Bottle 2, the product of bottle 11. I have discussed bottle 2 at length in previous months, notable February. However, I just want to add that in context with May, this is our opportunity to heal our wounds in particular from those who have been in positions of authority for us. Of course the first experience of authority if with our parents. Bottle 2 encourages you to look at your early childhood experiences. Most parents do their best given the resources they have available, however many children grow up feeling that they were short changed. Unfortunately many children are abused and go onto create relationships that matched their early years.
Most of us feel comfortable and secure when we can count on the consistency and reliability of people, transport systems and other social structures. Predictability means that we don’t need to worry about a particular thing or person. In many ways we rely upon reliability.
Conventional cancer treatments aren’t working for women with breast cancer. Women are falling into a cancer industry machine only to be spit out at the other end, permanently damaged and still with no reasonable assurance of long-term survival. Lord Maurice Saatchi is calling for the law relating to cancer treatment to be changed in England. He describes the current law as a “barrier to progress in curing cancer” and says doctors are deterred from trying new forms of treatment in case they are sued. 
Shortly, you will see a new page on my website called Products. This page will have links to Products you can source on your own. This page will include products that I either endorse and/or personally use. I came across a company called Plexus that produces these little satchels of fluid that you can place over your breast when you self examine. They are so sensitive that they will pick up a grain of salt underneath them. This company also sells a breast detoxification cream and some weight loss products. I am specifically sending you to this resource for the self examination satchels and the breast cream.
Bottle 9 turquoise over green. Bottle 9 is called the Crystal Heart within the Heart. Its primary focus is transcendence of the heart. Having a heart that is capable of expressing more than your own petty individual loves and concerns. This bottle is also linked with Atlantean times. Nines often pride themselves on having found the way or doing the right thing. History regarding Atlantis tells us how deluded they really were in their “rightness”. Bottle 9 encourages us to finding our way through the mire of jealousy and envy that cause us to want the possessions or experiences that another has. Perhaps even feeling it is unjust that they have and you do not. Guilt can also creep in here in terms of you having anything at all. Which gets us back to what I was saying above, we cannot blame another for what we do or have, in the end there is no universal right only tendencies and what is right for you may not be right for another. If there is no right or wrong there cannot be guilt and therefore there cannot be punishment only consequences.
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