Love is a Drunk, Blind, liar!

I guess you are all thinking What The?  How can I say that about love, love is meant to be a nice warm, fuzzy thing.  So let me explain.

Make no mistake love is the most magical and powerful energy on the planet.  Love is something that we all crave, but at the same time many of us are terrified of love.  Many of us don’t trust love that much either.  You see love also appears to have a shadow side.  We have all been subjected to imperfect love, when our loved ones have betrayed us, lied to us and left us feeling like a fool to have believed in love.  Most of us at some time have experienced the downer of no love!

spiritual healing, words of affirmation

Be Gentle, Nurture Yourself

We all come in with the capacity for unconditional love, the kind of love that accepts our parents no matter what.  In fact love is the very first addiction we experience.  We seek out the gentle touch, the soothing words and the gentle caress.  It seems that we have an insatiable desire for love when we are young.  It is very likely that we would die if we did not receive it at all. We do everything possible to get our fix from the adults around us.  For some of us our first love affair last a lifetime. Eventually the addictive quality of the behaviour –  “I have to get love from my parents” tends to wain and become a mature love wherein love gains the capacity to become a process of exchange. Loves powerful addictive nature begins to fade.  It’s not that we no longer want it, but we relax into it knowing it will always be there.  The highs and low mostly mellow into a continuous wave.

Mature love understands that love comes from within and it can never be taken from us.  Once we deeply realise that love is within and doesn’t need to be topped up we can become free of the addictive nature of first love. We come to understand that the exquisite feeling of love is within us all the time we just need to tune in. Most of us have experienced the giddy and legless feeling of falling in love one or more times after our first love – our parents.  But just like the first time addiction eventually gives way to mature love.  If we don’t understand this we will continually seek out the heady first love experience and feel that love has gone when it disappears.

Unfortunately for many of us the shadow of conditional love creeps over us and we find it harder and harder to get our love hit.  In actual fact we can unconsciously believe and act in many ways that negate the feel good “‘cos I am loved feeling” simply because we don’t trust the words of love.  Many times I have heard these sad words from my clients:  “They are only saying that they love me or that I am beautiful they want something from me” or because “love makes them blind to see who I really am or what I really look like”.  Or another good one is; “they only say good things about me because they are my father, mother, spouse etc and that is what they are meant to do”.

So what am I saying here? It is very likely that many of us have standing near us the most awesome love. Yet we don’t trust the words of love or we prefer to believe that love is blind, self-motivated and clearly love cannot see the real truth of us.  When I confront my clients with “so you are saying that your loved one is a liar and most certainly blind?” The response I get is complete surprise.  Their minds do a double take.  The real issue is not that they are lying or blind because they love us.  It is because all of us at some time have felt hurt by love. Our own illusion of the loved one being perfect has come crashing down and we never repaired the damage.  It’s a similar to the process we experience with an addictive substance, the very first time can never be reproduced and the comedown is a real nightmare.

Let me be the first to say that there are certainly people who are good a lying and telling us what we want to hear because they want to use and abuse us.  Our desire for love and acceptance can cause us to look for love in the wrong place. Sadly many have traded their addiction for love for substances of addiction.  Unfortunately these substances and behaviours also bring them pain and despair just as people have.  Erroneously we believe that we have more control over these substitute substances and things than we do over people.

So what are we to do?  Well, what if love never came from outside and our capacity to feel love first came from within us? Consider that the kind and type and depth of love we experience on the outside world has more to do with us than them?  So the questions becomes how much do I actually love myself? How do I express my love?  Do I abandon myself?  Lie to myself?  How much love do I allow myself to feel and how much do I allow myself to respond to love?

Most of us live in the illusionary world that everything is outside of us and that everything outside of us is responsible for making us feel or not.  When we take a pain killer, we expect it to work to have power over us and consequently dull the pain. Have you ever taken a pain killing drug that didn’t work?  I have!  So then you have to dig deep inside and find that place of no pain.  Love is the same there is no magical drug, person, thing or behaviour that is going to make you feel loved.

It is all up to you!

Fortunately if you have forgotten your first love, even before your parents I would love to help you find YOU again.

Jump into your inner-self with a Self-Box

Breaking Old Habits and Starting Fresh Workshop

Monday January 27th, 2014 @ Blackwood

$90.00 per person

RSVP by: January 20th

It’s a new year, start  fresh, give yourself the best chance of being who your really are and achieving what you really want.  As the venue is at my wonderful healing space at Blackwood spaces will be limited.

To make a Self-Box you take a simple box with a lid, it can be any box a shoe box or something bigger or smaller. The box you choose is part of the process. Then you decorate the edges of the box inside and out. Each edge represents a different part of your consciousness. There are no right or wrong ways to decorate your box, it is completely up to you. The main thing to remember is that it is an intuitive and interactive process between you and your inner-self. Some would say that it is a meditative process. Your box can be decorated with paper, feathers, glitter, pictures, paint whatever takes your fancy. It is a simply and fun process but at the same time profoundly moving.

I still have the Self-Box I made during my Art Therapy training, it is a very personal keepsake that is a precious record of where I was at, at the time. I discovered a lot about myself whilst making my Self-Box as will you no matter your creative talent or perceived lack thereof.

Take the Leap and Jump into a new year and a new you!



I woke up one morning and the world seemed different, or was it me?  I wasn’t sure, so I went out and asked lots of people about the world.  What were the people in the world like? What was the world really like?  Did they love me, did they know who I was.  I went and asked the trees who am I?  Why am I here?  I walked in the big cities with billions of people pressing around me.  Sadly they could not tell me who I was, nor could they really tell me much about the world and the people in it that made any sense.  I went to the halls of learning, I went to the mountains and they could not tell me what I longed to know.  I went to the sea, the sea and all the fishes could not tell me.  So a sat on my own and called out to the universe who am I?  I sat on my own for a very long time!

You are who you choose to be was the reply!  So I went out again and asked the people in the big cities, most didn’t  seem to think it possible that I or they could choose.  Once again I asked the animals, the mountains, and the sea what shall I be?  “Whatever, pleases you” was their reply.  “We are as we are because it pleases us to expresses are innate nature, to be all that we can be.”

So once again I returned to my solitude, this time in darkness I sat.  Who do I choose to be, what is my innate nature, what would it please me to express?  Sitting in the darkness a mirror appeared before me showing me a multitude of possibilities: a mother, a wife, daughter, politician, healer, teacher, prostitute, all manner of things.  The mirror shifted and became dark and smoky and the shadowy possibilities of chaos, war, suffering and destruction appeared before me.

My eyes flowed rivers of tears enough to fill a whole lake, but the lake did not remain sad.  Fish started to swim in the lake, birds began to arrive to nest and feed upon the fish.  Grass and trees and beautiful flowers appeared around the lake, the lake became a place of life, vitality and growth.  I was starting to think maybe I should be a lake.  At that moment the image of the lake dissolved away leaving a single drop and the single drop merged with my heart and so the lake was within.

Once again I looked upon the mirror and I saw many beautiful things, life, love, people all doing wonderful, joyful things.  Yet there was a shadow over this world of wonder and as this shadow came so did darkness and the people entered into a world of war, judgement and destruction.  The light came again, but dimmer.  The darkness was creeping over the world and the people in it like a cloak, until they were no longer able to enter into the place of love and joy.  They no longer knew how to take off the cloak!

Once again my tears flowed but this time they did not form a lake, they floated up and took wings becoming a beautiful flock of doves swarming around my head.  The doves completely surrounded me forming a coat of lightness and from the space around me a voice asked me “who to choose to be?”  The sound of the voice shattered my sense of self.  “I will be what you want me to be” and so it was for awhile, I was a puppet, it wasn’t bad being a puppet, a beautiful happy puppet, but there was someone else who pulled the strings.  In my core there was a yearning – “who do I choose to be”

Again I returned to the cave of solitude.  In the cave was the darkness of nothingness and the every present mirror on the ceiling.  I looked into the mirror and saw the world as I knew it to be.  All its flaws, its pains and joys and my sense of powerlessness.  One soul, a drop in the ocean of endless souls.  I felt a nuzzling at me knee and looked down to see the dragon, cute and yet fierce, magical beyond this world of mine and yet part of it also.  The dragon looked deeply into my eyes and said “it is time” and he let out a roar with a stream of fire.  The enormous fire in front of me lighting up the whole cave and extinguishing the mirror.  The dragon leapt into the flames of the fire unafraid and disappeared.  The flames of the fire changed to a beautiful blue and in the centre the shape of a bird began to appear.  The bird had magical piercing eyes that could see into darkness and into light.  It danced in the flames, drawing strength from the heat of the fire.  It rose up and flew into the mirror and the mirror was shattered.  I was nothing a voice in the darkness!  I was all things and yet no things.  Who am I?  who do I choose to be?  Whoever, it pleases me to be in any moment in time and space.  For now, I choose to be a way shower of those who desire to be free!

What do you choose?

Tools to keep your space sparkly clean

After giving a talk on space clearing at McLaren Vale on Tuesday, I have had requests to recap the information contained within my talk.

White Sage Smudge Sticks

ImageWhite Sage smudge sticks are made from Salvia apiana which is different than the Sage that is used in cooking which is Salvia Officinalis.  The use of scent and scented smoke in rites of purification is very common in many traditional cultures around the world.  The use of white sage in particular comes from the Native American peoples.  It has been my experience that White Sage is a heavy duty cleanser of spaces. It is also the best and cheapest option for large spaces such as homes and offices.  To give your house a good clean make sure you smudge every room, particularly into the corners and then open all the windows and let it flow out.

Serapis Bey Quintessence and Air Conditioner

ImageSeraps Bey is an Aura-Soma product that is produced from a combinations of 45 different natural herbs and crystals.  I consider this to be equally strong in terms of removing negative energy however, the cost makes it a little prohibitive for large areas.  However, it does have the advantage of being pleasant to smell and does not leave a residual smell.  Serapis Bey is very useful for spaces where you don’t want to have a strong smell linger for a 24 hour period.  Excellent choice for shop products, furniture crystals and personal use.  It is also very quick and easy – no smoke and you can take it with you any were and it can be used very discretely.  There are some secrets I can let you in on to make it last longer and get your monies worth.  There are other products on the market but as I have not used them I cannot vouch for their effectiveness at this time.

Dragon’s Blood Incense

ImageDragon’s blood incense is made from the resin of Dracaena draco and Dracaena cinnabari.  Dragon’s blood has a very long history of being used to protect from negative energies.  It has also been used to add potency to ritual intentions, in particular to attract wealth and love.  I would usually use Dragon’s Blood Incense for everyday cleansing and protection rather than an heavy duty clean.

Tibetan Singing Bowls

ImageYou can obtain the singing bowls from both India and Tibet.  The use of sound to break up negative energy is not a new concept.  The old practice of drumming, shouting, toning, ringing bells are some examples.  The slightly more modern practice of “kettling” a new home and tying tin cans to the newly Wed’s car are also examples of using sound to cleanse spaces.  I primarily use a bowl from Tibet as it is made from at least 5 different metals.  As I demonstrated on the day the bowl can be struck or your can make it sing by applying the stick to the outer edge in a clockwise manner.  If you don’t like smoke or smell this is absolutely the number one best option.  The downside is their cost as they are sold by weight.  The upside is that you never have to buy them again.  Perhaps of all the methods of cleaning it needs a little bit of training, but certainly not difficult.

Laurus the Leopard – Celebrating World Story Telling Day March 2012

ImageOnce upon a time there was a leopard called Laurus.  He was a brave leopard, he was good at hunting, he had taken a mate or two over his years.  So in leopard society he was considered a good leopard.  But Laurus had a yearning within him, is this all there is in life?

One fateful day Laurus had a blinding flash of awareness as he sprung upon the monkey who was to be his next meal.  This monkey was a good monkey living his life according to his nature, so why did Laurus have to kill him, take him from his monkey family in order that Laurus might live?  The consumption of life in order to live!  He knew he had to kill to live, otherwise he would die.  Laurus was overcome with guilt and conflict raged within him.

So Laurus moved away from leopard society, he needed to contemplate the meaning of his existence.  Why were things the way they were?  Other leopards laughed at him “Silly Laurus” they said “ he is at the top of the world, master of earth and sky, why could he not just be content?”  “This is the natural order of things” they said.  Laurus didn’t care he just knew there had to be more, there had to be another way.

One day he came to sit on a rock beside a bog, he contemplated the bog, rotting matter, death in the making.  Yet at the same time teaming with new life.  He saw juicy caterpillars consuming the plants with the need of hunger for survival, “same as me” he thought.  Then he heard a small fluttery voice “Laurus, Laurus” he looked around and there was a beautiful orange butterfly dancing before his eyes “who are you?” said Laurus “and how do you know my name?”  “I am Clovis” said the butterfly “and I know many things”   Hmmmm, thought Laurus, let’s see what he knows.  “I am on a mission, I want to know if there is away to exist without consuming another, taking the life of another.  What do you eat?  Clovis giggled, I only drink very small sips of honey and tiny drops of pollen from those flowers that you see before you in the bog.  Laurus sighed, then you steel life from the flowers.  “Not so” said the butterfly, “I help the flowers in return for what I take”.  My tiny feet and tongue drop pollen into the centre of the plant so that is can re-generate itself.  “Oh” said Laurus, “then it must be good to be a butterfly you do not harm!”  The butterfly giggled and fluttered away.  Calling back as he left.. “Look at the juicy green caterpillars, they are my children”.  Laurus, was crest fallen, he felt he had been tricked!

Sighing he got up from his warm perch on the rock and sauntered away.  He was staring to get hungry.  Night was falling, so he climbed up a tree to find a comfortable place to spend the night.  He also knew, much to his dismay, that this was also a good vantage point to spring upon some dinner!  A beautiful big yellow moon rose up as darkness fell.  Laurus contemplated the moon in the sky, wondering whether it needed to consume another to exist!

Out of the corner of his eye he saw something silently fly by, hmm and owl he thought.  He had always envied the owl at least his kills were quick, his pray didn’t know until it was too late.  But a kill was a kill, another life form taken from their habitat in order for another to live.  The owl settled onto a branch in the tree not too distant from Laurus.  The two predators contemplated each other silently for awhile.  Eventually Laurus said “owl how do you feel about having to kill, to consume in order to live?”  the owl blinked at Laurus and hooted “ such personal questions, when I don’t even know your name”  “Sorry my name is Laurus of the leopard tribe”  “Ah” said the owl “I have heard of you, the mad seeker, they call you”  laurus gave a growl of disgust. “and you are?” he asked  “I am Merlowl” hooted the owl.  “Well then, so how do you feel about eating others to live?” pressed Laurus.   The owl ruffled it’s feathers and vanished in a sparkle of gold leaving only an egg behind, then the egg became a mouse, then a flower, then a ball of sparkling gold energy and once again an owl sitting on the branch. The owl was amused as he watched Laurus regain his composure after nearly falling of his branch.  “How did you do that, what does that all mean?”  The owl once again blinked and stared with his penetrating eyes at laurus and then silently took flight into the night.  From a distance laurus heard the cry of Merlowl “that is for you to discover Laurus the seeker!”